i cant sleep

i dont know how to blog recently.... for the past few days... been doing things here and there.. since friday been out... out with hui to ktv.... relax for k lunch,, cheap but the food provided sucks big time... next went to TP to have some flash back with hui... it was enjoyable on this trip... memories ... i miss those days.. hui join the alumin in order to use the swimming pool... actually wanted to swim.. but i actually forget my swimming truck!... ok .. so i end up sleeping near the pool while hui has his dip....

meet up with ming, ping, jem, ray at fisherman village at night.. talk about this and that finding out a little bit of pieces of each others life... each of them have something to bother and plan.. while me... still quite lost... it was enjoyable night out.. too quite some pic but well .. somehow i havent decided which to upload... still have to wait for ming's permission before i can upload any of her pic here...

sat meet up with hui again.. this time, we went to the library sales at suntec.. to help his friend rod purchase some old books... i recieve a call from one of the company which i send my resume if i'm interested in the job they offer.. i say yes and yah they say they will call me up on monday(today) to arrange a face interview but they never call yet..

after that we meet his friend rod's gf, for a ktv session... quite a funny person very friendly even when it is first time i meeting her.. after that we meet up with her bf and all of us went down to bugis to have our dinner before going our seperate ways... end up having another short nap at hui's place .. ... i stay at home on sunday ... been very tired since friday .. but i end up doing nothing constructive except slacking at home.. .recieve another call from an agency if i want a job as an IThelp desk .. i didn't turn that away .. they call say will call me to comfirm again on monday( they did call say they will send in the resume to the company and may call me for a a written test) .. but i was quite indecidable, if i should or shouldn't take up this job..

i don't why.. maybe it is contact base.. maybe it is hourly pay... after much consultation from my friends.. i recieve alot of feedback.. make me even more lost... but then thinking of better then doing nothing might as well take up and challenage that i face... even thought it may not be a good idea... but no harm trying.. the most 3 month... else it can be a career else it can be somthing that i may not even want to do again in my whole life time... at this stage i still lost..... i just dont want to think and let nature take course... ... good or bad only if i try i will know... maybe i'm not even fit into thier bill.. so at the end they may not want me too ... cant think of it now... freaking confusing and i hate this feeling... i must learn to listen to myself ....

yesterday night wasn't good i think i pissed my dear friend which i really concern .. maybe she aint in a good mood also ...and i certianly know that she is a person that have her own mind.. which i shouldn't even try to change it...but i do wish to care for u more as a friend...even u like to say i'm kaypo.. but i want to say i'm in wrong yesterday... i'm very sorry... i know u are reading this ...

whats the problem with me sometimes... i just get into people life... i'm like an attention seeker sometimes... i like like to get into people life when people are most unwillingly to let me do so ... i'm so idiotic and most of the time it just backfired.... people who in other way round give me concern i will hide away... people who are nasty to me try to change thier thinking about me.. people who care less about me i try make them accept me.. whats wrong with me... this is shitty... i know my mistake yet i just keep stepping into it.... i should just keep quiet again.... i getting more and more noisy nowaday....

today i went to sim lim with hui... bum to jo's parents and sis at bugis as usual it is nice to bum to people.. jo's parents are always very friendly.. they are very interesting people which many people ain like them ... i just went forward and say hi to them... it was like great fun seeing them when jo's mum will start talking saying this and that ... but i say a quick goodbye cause need to go somewhere else..

went to sim lim to seek for a motherboard with hui.. haven decide on what to get.. the standards are different now from old pc and new pc... so alot of upgrading is needed.. i told him to settle for a second hand parts...first since he still not too sure if he should upgrade anot... tomorrow we will go down again ... we walk down near to flea market and jalan besar to have our dinner... and look at things.. quite an interesting sight, i have discover at this lanes... things they sell ..... ..

ok i'm tired but i cant sleep.. been thinking.. i not been learning not been practising not been doing thing constructive ... i dont know why. i dont have the passion in anything......and i really mean everything. i need some motivation.. i need some guide... good guide..

posted by antrence @ 3:29 AM